Many years ago, I kind of almost sorda ruined someone’s life. We were young and stupid. This person was a good friend of mine. I am not a trusting person. Well here is why. I did something horrible to this person. I outed them. I mean really ruin your life outed them. Not the way you think, I outed them to a spouse, told them they cheated/ A spouse who was very angry. There was no turning back, it was just over. I have carried many years of guilt for this. This person’s life turned out pretty damn good but damn can you imagine. Your best friend turns on you. In my defense this person had done some pretty messed up stuff to me but I did the worst thing a person could do. This person did try to get back at me but you know how it goes. He who talks first wins. And win I did. In all kinds of ways. And lose I did in all kinds of ways. In the end this person was never my true friend and their life now is great. Or I guess it is as this person has never spoken to me again. And rightly so. So I figure Karma is going to get me one day. I would never let anyone in that close again for fear they may do to me what I did to my other friend. Do you know I have gone 25-30 years without having a truly tell all your secrets, greatest fears, greatest hopes and dreams friend again. So I guess this is where I lost. My friend seems to have lots of great friends. I see them from time to time. Maybe they won’t hurt my old friend like I did. I do wonder if my old friend ever learned to trust friends again. Hopefully. Maybe that is my pay back. My old friends has great friends and I have Frog. And Frog is not someone I would tell my secrets to. Sometimes I wait for Karma to get me. Does Karma wait 30 years? Or did I just make everyone stand up open our eyes and move on from some pretty messed up relationships. Could that be it? Could I have done the best thing for everyone involved. At the time I thought I did. Now 30 years later, I sometimes miss my old friend and all the bad things we did together.
